Discovering a better me (PD Documentation)

Issues with self-confidence and second-guessing my abilities were just some among the mountain of other problems I fretted over last year. To be brutally honest, PD (Professional Development) was my least favorite module. I was constantly rejecting the opportunities to objectify what it was I truly wanted out of this life and the path I took to go to art school. PD was initially a hard pill to swallow because of my idealistic mentality's refusal to budge and accept the truth. I had so many questions unanswered but I faced even greater trouble trying to articulate the question itself. This refusal to step outside of my comfort zone festered and I had became too scared to do so if ever the opportunity arose. And then I disappeared from the face of the earth.

Temporarily.

Thankfully, I was given the opportunity to redo my second year. This also meant starting PD over from scratch. Fast forward to today, I am actually proud to see the drastic change in attitude, and the me I wanted to see myself be last year. The more I attended PD, the more I realized how achievable my goals were, and the many other qualities I never knew I had. As a matter of fact, really sitting down to think about what you want for yourself without taking "I don't know" for an answer is probably one of the greatest personal habits and takeaways. It inspires me to get up, do research to find an answer. It never occurred to me how vast and not-scary the art ecosystem was when put into perspective. Last year, I thought that the artistic genealogy mind map was the most intimidating thing in the world, but because of my newly cultivated habit, it became a walk in the park.

The following montage is a development of my concepts and artistic style within a year. Now that is growth.

2019

2019

2020

2020

I always knew even since last year, that my I wasn't happy with the style I used to portray in my art. The meticulousness put into trying to achieve an unreachable perfection. Sure, maybe my rebellious nature showed in the way I always dictated seemingly incomplete works as complete, indifferent to traditional painting standards. It didn't take long for me to realize that painting by itself was unfulfilling to me. But I eventually decided to venture out of painting and into other disciplines such as installation and performance.

Another beneficial thing I've learnt from PD is how to get lucky. That is to, of course, increase your odds. We get to learn to articulate ourselves, to expand upon our practice and collaborate, as well as how to market ourselves. Before this module, I never tried to critically analyze my strengths or unique attributes and the importance of self-evaluation. With this, I was able to write my artist bio and statement with ease.

I recently discovered through self-reflection and observation, that the most fundamental parts of my identity lie in between two or more characteristics of myself. The glue that held these characteristics together are hyphens. For example, I am a multi-disciplinary, filipino-american, self-proclaimed anarch-tist. That's already a handful to take in but also a distinct feature about myself and my works that I wanted to explore and expand upon. Which led me to brand my site as hypheNATION (hyphen nation) which is also an actual word that defines the use of hyphens. This was especially applicable to my interest in using text in my art practice.

We were given the chance to visit and learn about the Singapore's art scene and existing art spaces.

In the second chance I was given to complete Year 2 again, the Professional Development module played the biggest role in my bounce-back and growth as a young, practicing artist. I honestly owe it all to PD for keeping me grounded to reality, but also allowing and equipping me to see and make a future I can look forward to.

Special thanks to my cool PD lecturer, Estella, for constantly keeping it real with us.